Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective -

Almost every last day of the week, church bells ring to initiate men and women that have presumably resolved to be life partners into the circle of husbands and wives. Mosques also have a fair share of requests that entail tieing the knots. The anticipation of getting married sprinkles ineffable joy, let's suppose that, in the would-be couple and in-laws. Language of preparation then gets spoken by those around in view of making that day remarkable. Attached to this ambience of excitement is the notion of happily ever after (HEA) which is gradually injected into and unconsciously absorbed by the groom and bride. These fairy tale ribbons that adorn the entire event somewhat opens the gate for complacency to stroll in. Although the couple may be quick to refute it, a misconception of marriage thus surfaces and mental preparedness for the life-long task ahead is substituted with getting overly relaxed. This piece is opposed to that disposition and argues for an alternative consideration. Stay with me.

A critical look at the institution of marriage would necessitate the inference that it is a good thing, in the sense that it meets intimately man's social need and lends a hand to nature in the preservation of the human species. According to Christian and Islamic religious accounts, God sanctioned this arrangement hence its sacrosanctity. Thus, the seriousness of marriage calls for a commensurate attitude in the process of delving into it. Marriage is no jamboree with little need for deep reflection! It is a union of purposes and destinies, whether predetermined or determined, of a man and woman who very likely may have a subtle disparity in their personalities. The quality of future of anyone involved hinges on it. This is a forewarning to be extremely careful in that choice if you're still in the "partner market" and become more thorough in your union if already taken. Yes, you need to be, at least for your sake.

It is not rare to hear bachelors and spinsters longingly say, "I can't wait to get married." Such declaration often comes on the heels of spotting that beautiful weeding gown, well made-up face, neatly tailored suit, gorgeous-looking groom's men and bride's maids, elaborately decorated reception hall, very important personalities present as witnesses, skillfully baked cake, and what have you. Seeing such grandeur paints the picture of marriage as happily ever after. Reality says it is not. It is a journey which features various kinds of tests, setbacks, misunderstanding, being sufferable and tolerance, patience, perseverance, unconditional love, and full collaboration. Even when the money gap is filled, marriage remains a demanding task which requires that wise steps be taken in undertaking it. Millionaires and billionaires are not immune. Nonetheless, expect the best from marriage but never regard it as a fairy tale where riding into the sunset is always commonplace. Being poised to handle these realities and not get carried away by those ceremonial traditions can make your union the next success story.

Finally, the potentials in any marriage can be maximized once the appropriate perspective about it is adopted. Irrespective of how common it is treated in the present, it is one of the most serious institutions on planet earth. The misinterpretation of what marriage involves can precipitate the evapouration of personal and marital dreams, and mar one's life for life. With innumerable factual stories about the downturn marriages are taking and have taken, this is a wake-up call to transcend the flashy projections to our senses and replace them with a realistic alternative perspective.