I Was Punished, Ostracized For 20 Years For Marrying A White Lady: Aroms Aigbehi

I Was Punished, Ostracized For 20 Years For Marrying A White Lady: Aroms Aigbehi

My expectation from Nigerians is very tamed. I have to have low expectation in order to be sane. When I started this movement in Nigeria I foolishly thought people will respond fast to mental liberation movement because I felt they have suffered enough and nobody wants to stay in such situation forever. Now I know suffering has no limitation.

Now I know, no matter what happens, I don’t see people coming up to fight for a common cause. Mind you I don’t mean a political fight. But a fight that is led by an ideology. Not some political fight orchestrated by some selfish politicians for their own gain.

If something will change, it will be from a freak of nature. We are not aware enough to fight for a just cause. We think of it, we don’t like the situation but to get up and do something, NO. We will procrastinate it. We believe one day we are going to or God will come and do it for us after some intensive prayers.

These are some of my reasons, I have lots of them, but these will do for now.

History:
Go back in history, black people don't have a very good track record of coming up for themselves. Yes, there were here and there sporadic events in the history of people coming up, but not like the battle of Waterloo, Normandy or Dunkirk or the French revolution. Not even the Arab spring. The only people even closer are the Igbos. (That is another story.)

I look at past events I am not enthusiastic. Yes, you will read here and there where people came up and fight. When people don't fight for a common goal they don't bind. Without bonding people don't work together effectively. This lack of bonding in Nigeria starts from the family circle, and all the way to the head of the country's leadership. It is this lack of bonding that makes family members to rip others off without feeling sorrow.

No One Wants to Blink First.
When two animals stare at each in a face off, the one that blinks first loses. When it concerns the biting issues in Nigeria, like corruption, no one wants to blink first. That means no one who is today seen as a champion of corruption wants to repent publicly and start fighting corruption. Have you ever seen someone on Nigerian TV or in the church who has repented publicly and is now giving testimony on how he or she was once a very corrupt person but after finding Jesus he is now an anti-corruption crusader? That would be very powerful. Black people don't do such a thing. We will lose our face and be stigmatized forever.

We Don't Really Love Each Other
I often wonder when I see Africans outside Africa. Most black people will walk past each other without even greeting each other. Black people in America think they are superior than other blacks. In Europe, you have The English blacks, The Dutch blacks, the Belgian blacks, etc. Each of these blacks don't like each other. They don't come along and they hardly marry each other.

It is easier to get married to a white Belgian woman or a man than to get married to someone from Congo. Black people will hardly do that. How many Nigerians do you know who is married to a person from other African countries? Yes, I know you will point to someone very far away. Compare to how many Africans are spread around the world. I often wonder why Nigerians who have lived in foreign countries for a long time, then come back to marry from their tribe. Why not marry to that Ijaw person who have been very nice to you over there. I don't get it. I think because the Ijaw person is seen as a foreigner. So if you can't marry one how can you ever work together with one.

We have these small habits here and there that set up back subconsciously. That is why we are not really succeeding.

So if two black people encounter each other in the street of Amsterdam, they will stare straight to the far distance just to avoid face to face contact. The only ones that will come to you are the newcomers who want something from you. Once they are settled they will start staring forward like the others.

We Are Too Divided
We are too divided mentally, emotionally to ever get someone collectively done for the common purpose of all Nigerians. Even when you divide Nigeria into twenty the problem will still be there because the problem is in the head and not outside it.

My mother use to say to her children, let no one come home with an Igbo woman, hmm. Coming home with a Yoruba or and Hausa or even a Bini person was worse. Then I came home with a white one. Chai, as punishment, I was ostracized for 20 years. My father didn't speak with my wife for 20 years. Not even hello.

When we were kids we were not allowed to play with the neighbours' children, because some were Igbos, the others were Binis, my best friend was a Benin boy. But there were not many Esan boys around because for God sake we were in Benin city, and not Uromi. It was even forbidden to play with the only Esan children around because their mother was a certified witch. She was later rumoured to have killed her husband of 30 years who died of cancer. I never saw her fly, but they say she does that every night. However, my mother assured me later that witches don't cross the ocean so she couldn't harm me in America or Europe. What a relief!

I guess what I am saying is we are not emotionally mature yet to come together and fight for a common cause and leave prejudice and tribalism behind. It may never happen. It is only when that day comes that we can start making progress.

Meanwhile, I will keep up my writing and video making. Probably, someone might learn something.

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