Reno Omokri throws deep shade at President Buhari over anti-corruption war

Editor's note: Reno Omokri, a former aide to ex-president Goodluck Jonathan, has taken his time to write this piece to shade President Muhammadu Buhari after reports emerged that the Nigerian leader's lawyer bribed a justice.

With President Muhammadu Buhari’s lawyer’s ₦500,000 ‘gift’ to Justice Adeniyi Ademola while the certificate case was being tried before that judge and with the Secretary to the Government of the Federation’s Grasscuttergate scandal, can we all stop pretending and accept that the anti corruption war is dead?

I believe I now know the reason why God allowed President Buhari to come back to power. It was to expose him for who he really is. Not a saint, but a hypocrite! A hypocrite of the highest order.

A so called anti corruption crusader who writes letters to cover his corrupt Secretary to the Government of the Federation and whose lawyer gives gifts to a justice that is being tried for collecting gifts from others. Do as I say, not as I do!

Things were already bad enough until the President’s spokesman released his statement trying to justify the ‘gift’!

When Femi Adesina, President Muhammadu Buhari’s spokesman, says PMB’s lawyers ₦500,000 payment to Justice Ademola was a ‘gift’ not a bribe he must think that Nigerians are on the bottom of the ladder in the rational thinking food chain!

So if I take a bribe and call it a ‘gift’, according to Femi Adesina, it automatically transforms from corruption to ‘gift’? So President Buhari believes in the Transformation Agenda after all! Who would have thought so!

So why can President Buhari’s lawyer give gifts but Andrew Yakubu cannot accept ‘gift’? The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission should just release everybody they are trying because they took ‘gifts’ not bribe. After all, President Buhari and his lawyer have shown us the way!

The Justice Ademola that is currently being tried is accused of taking bribes because people gave him gifts. So why were their gifts proceeds of corruption and Lawyer Awodein’s (Buhari’s lawyer) a proceed of friendship?

READ ALSO: Reno Omokri slams presidency over alleged bribe to Justice Ademola by Buhari's lawyer

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a bribe is defined thus:

Bribe /brīb/ verb persuade (someone) to act in one’s favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement.

Now if you consider the favorable way the certificate case against the President has being going for him in the matter before Justice Ademola, you may be forgiven if you quote Proverbs 18:14 and say “a man’s gift makes room for him”.

With all apologies to the publishers of the Oxford English Dictionary let me say that they have to alter the meanings of some words in their dictionary.

With Nigeria’s situation on my mind, I suggest the following edits to the definition of the word gift.

Gift (noun)

New word for BRIBE as approved by the current President Muhammadu Buhari-led Nigerian government for exclusive use of All Progressive Congress members.

And while we are at it, I am feeling some generosity to my readers. If any of my readers will like a GIFT, then they should send me an email. But if they would prefer a BRIBE, then they should send me a hand written letter instead. If you as my reader does not know the difference, then contact President Muhammadu Buhari’s lawyer!

Everybody gives gifts but some gifts are more equal than others. For tips on giving EFCC approved gifts, see President Buhari’s lawyer! The DEODORANT has been sprayed on Lawyer Awodein and the INSECTICIDE is being sprayed on Justice Ademola. Now I understand Shehu Sani!

But this President Muhammadu Buhari knows how to code better than Mark Zuckerberg! Look at the code word his team used for the payment made to Justice Ademola. The ‘gift’!

I am tempted to ask what else they have coded? Is the 2017 budget codedly (I invented the word codedly since we are all making edits to the Oxford English Dictionary) padded? Have they coded INEC to produce only inconclusive elections? Is Babachir’s grass cutting contract a means to get more resources to provide future coded gifts?

In fact, I am reliably informed that APC members give GIFT while PDP members give BRIBE but if you were once a Peoples Democratic Party member and you are now in the APC you give GIFTED BRIBE!

Now we understand why Rotimi Ameachi said he never gave nor received bribes. As an APC member, maybe he gave and received ‘gifts’. After all, there is nothing wrong with that! Our leader has shown us the way!

And President Buhari is not the only hypocrite in town. His mini me, Nasir Elrufai, the unofficial Vice President and Khalifa of the Buhari personality cult is as hypocritical as they come.

Finally, let me end this piece by saying that I was so glad to hear President Muhammadu Buhari’s voice as he spoke to Governor Ganduje of Kano state the other day. I hope by this call, people can leave the man to “rest” in London and not disturb him with their eye service visits to him.

To those who have done so and to others who are contemplating doing so, I hope and pray you get treated like the Guardian Newspaper reporter who was almost arrested when the residents of Abuja House (President Buhari’s current residence) called the police to help get rid of him.

But just in case you do not get arrested, permit me to write a new version of an Old Nursery Rhyme for you.

Old Version: Pu**y Cat, Pu**y Cat Where Have You Been? I’ve Been to London to See The Queen

New Version: Sycophant, Sycophant, Where Have You Been? I’ve Been to London to See Buhari!

Omokri is the founder of the Mind of Christ Christian Center in California, author of Shunpiking: No Shortcuts to God and Why Jesus Wept and the host of Transformation with Reno Omokri.

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