2/10/2017

Common Terms And Popular Places In UNILAG

GST: let me start with this. GST is an abbreviation for General studies often called GNS in most schools. If you however call General Studies, GNS instead of GST before an average Akokite, what you will get is a puppet staring at you with amazement. In UNILAG, it is GST not GNS.


Overnight: another crazy and very popular term in UNILAG. Traditionally, overnight refers to going out of the hostel and slipping into an unlocked class to read. Wait! Want to know why this is crazy? There are two reasons. First, when an Akokite tells you he is going for overnight, he expects you to fall on your knees and worship him. To him, he is a hero of books as sacrificing the comfort of his bed deserves some iconic eulogy. There is a second reason that is crazier. 95% of those who go for this overnight don't go there to read. Some go with their laptops and consoles(for games), some, dressed in their nicest clothes and shoes, go to advertise them and 60% of the 95% go with condoms.


Bonafide: only an Akokite that is able to secure a hall of residence understands the feeling, pride and the Buzz about being a bona-fide resident in the school hostel. If you find a student dragging it really hard or in a heated conversation with the hostel porters, be sure as hell that he is a bona-fide. He wouldn't dare standing in the front of porters in the first place if he was not. See, in UNILAG hostels, there is this caste system in existence. Let me quickly bring in another term

Porters/squatters: of course everyone knows what the hostel porters do but in UNILAG, their job extends beyond what is obtained in other schools. To the bona-fide, porters are just tool of play but to squatters, those who live in the hostel illegally, porters are hell descendants. They both constantly devise ways to outsmart each other. If you see a student entering a hostel with bold, non smiling face and fiercely walking like a soldier in battle array, he is a squatter. And on his unlucky day, the fierce walking no matter how brisk ends with, "hello, my friend, where is your pass? " the rambling voice of the hell descendants.


2001: what do you think this is? A year? No. This is a canteen in UNILAG which is spectacular for its large space, long chain retail trade and most importantly, its cheap prices of food. Of course, that is the Economics invisible hand at work. There are more sellers of food than buyers. This is the canteen mostly paraded by broke guys like me. If you are a broke AKokite and you despise eating in an open space, sorry is your case. Apart from 2001, every other canteen in UNILAG is not pocket friendly.


New hall: if you ask an 'average' Akokite what new hall is (not where, everyone knows that), he will tell you it is a popular park. If, however, you ask a 'real' Akokite, what new hall is, he will tell you to wait until nightfall before he explains.And when night eventually falls, all he has to do is to take you to new hall and with your Unclad eyes, you will witness first-class prostitution. New hall is reputable for such because of the interwovened female hostels. Here is the first place I saw two Range Rover sports, three Toyota venzas and one Land cruiser Prado parked side by side.


Senate building: lol. Only 'bad' guys use this term often. And they actually meant the Senate building that houses the office of the VC. Although, guys' businesses are not inside the building but behind it nor are their businesses during the official hours but at night when even the full moon won't be enough to provide enough light. Many things go on here. For guys in the faculty of Arts whose classes are closer to the Senate building, overnight is an intriguing endeavour.


Alpha base: this is the last place an Akokite ever wishes to visit. No student has ever gone there and returned happily unless he is a mere witness. Alpha base is the dreaded security headquarters of the school. The agents of this alpha base are popularly called baba blue by the student populace. Their uniform is blue colour. Call them baba blue to their face and you are sure to graduate without convocation.

UBA park: this is a combination of Senate building and new hall. It is not a good place for an innocent soul to visit at night.

And lastly.......


Lagoon Front: this is the pride of every Akokite. You will find students sitting under the scorching sun Just to stare at the water. This is the most visited place in UNILAG.it is visited by 'tourist-students' in the day and by 'other' students at night for some businesses that should be occurring in the 'other' room.


I drop my pen!


Greatest Akokites
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